What 48 Years Have Taught Me

This past week, I celebrated my forty-eighth birthday, and it had me reflecting on a few of the lessons life has taught me so far. Some came through pain. Some through love. Some through time and perspective. But all of them have shaped how I live, how I lead, and how I love.

The first is this: love yourself enough to show others how it’s done.

There was a time in my life when I put everyone else first. I was constantly thinking about what other people needed, what they wanted, and how I could make them happy, while giving very little thought to what I actually desired for myself. For years, I believed that one day I would meet the right person, and then finally my needs would be met. But when I did meet that person, I realized something far more important. It was always an inside job. Loving yourself first does not make you selfish. It teaches people how to love you. It sets the standard. It shows the world what you are available for and what you are no longer willing to accept.

The second is to make a big deal out of the little things.

Growing up, my mother made birthdays magical. You did not wait until dinner to celebrate. The celebration started the moment you opened your eyes. You woke up a king or queen. There might be flowers around your plate, gifts waiting at the table, a special breakfast prepared just for you. Everything about the day told you that this was not ordinary. It was yours.

That stayed with me.

Today, I look for reasons to celebrate often. Not because everything has to be extravagant, but because life is made up of moments. The more of them we choose to honor, the richer life becomes. My family and I have created so many meaningful memories simply because we decided something small was worth celebrating. And I have found that often, it is.

Another lesson that has only grown truer with time is that giving really is better than receiving.

I remember hearing that as a child and thinking it was just one of those things adults said. It sounded nice, but I did not fully understand it then. I do now.

This year, my family made such a big deal out of my birthday. My son wrote and performed a song for me that brought me to tears. My daughter gave me a thoughtful and hilarious card because, in her words, for my birthday she wanted to make me laugh out loud. She succeeded. Anniston went out of her way to plan thoughtful gifts and many beautiful moments throughout the day that reminded me how loved I am.

And while I was the one receiving all of it, the deepest gift was not the attention itself. It was seeing the joy in their eyes as they gave it. There is something sacred about watching someone light up because they made you feel seen and celebrated. That joy is unforgettable.

One of the simplest lessons I have learned has become one of the most meaningful. Leave a room better than you found it.

At first, this started practically. Do not leave a mess behind you. Clean up after yourself. Be respectful of the space you are in. But over time, it became something much deeper. Now it is a way of moving through life. Walk into a room with the intention of leaving it better than it was before you entered. That applies to your home, your conversations, your meetings, your family, your clients, your friendships. With intention, you become more mindful. More present. More generous in how you show up. And when you live that way, your impact naturally expands.

And finally, one truth that continues to shape everything I do is this: people may forget what you said or what you did, but they will always remember how you made them feel.

You already know this is true.

Make people feel seen.
Make them feel valued.
Make them feel heard.
Make them feel appreciated.
Make them feel loved.

I am always moved when strangers tell me they love me, or when a coaching client ends a session by saying, “I love you.” That does not happen by accident. It happens because people feel loved in my presence first.

That lesson has changed everything for me.

So as I step into another year of life, I do so with gratitude. Gratitude for what I have learned, for who I have become, and for the people I get to love along the way.

If there is anything I know for sure at forty-eight, it is this: life is not just about what you build. It is about how you live while you are building it. It is about the energy you bring into a room, the love you give freely, the moments you choose to celebrate, and the standard you set for your own life.

That is what makes a life feel rich.